What does listening have to do with joy? A great deal. True listening is not the manifestation of judgment, comparison, criticism or complaint. It is one of the greatest sources of validation we can give to another person, and it is our most powerful source of self reflection and growth.

While we all want to think that we are listening, far too often we have put on the ugly tight black hat of judgment and comparison before the first syllable is out of the speaker’s mouth. We often do not listen.

Rather, we just hear what we expect, what we want or what we presume will be said. The greatest misunderstandings, the most terrible emotional pain resides in the dimension of conversations that were heard but not listened to, in the spaces between the words that were presumed to be heard or understood.

Hearing is a given for most of us, but true listening is not. It requires the time and the patience to pause, remove judgment, remove comparison and just reflect on what the other person is saying. When we are able to open our ears, our mind and our heart, we are able to listen and in so doing we are giving and receiving the gift of connection.

The gift of connection is one of the most important and powerful gifts that we can give another human being and our self. No matter how seemingly important or unimportant the conversation is, we can always try to connect with another person at a fundamental level of personal validation and respect.

Most of us had few models, few teachers in the art of listening. Rather we made the leap from infancy to childhood to adolescence and adulthood under the tutelage of adults whose tight black hats of judgment and comparison were glued to their heads and often precluded their ability to truly listen.
We all know the deep sense of self doubt and invalidation that crept onto our emotional highway when we were not truly listened to. We can choose to remember the pain of invalidation before we choose not to truly listen to another.

The power that is revealed when we truly learn to listen is manifold. Because in learning to listen to another, in stretching our muscles of communication and connection, we also regain the ability, the power to listen to our true needs, feelings and to move beyond judgment and comparison to hear our true voice as well as the voice of others.

We were born with the ability to reach past personal limitations and truly listen. It is time to reclaim our power to do so.

Link  —  Posted: June 7, 2016 in Achieving your Goals, Exams, How to improve your reading skills, Importance of Good Memory, Laziness, Learning styles, Listen, Memory, Motivation, Overcoming procastination, Stress Management, Students, Success, Training needs analysis, Uncategorized, Written communication skills

Don’t write if you are angry or upset.

•Remember that you are writing  to other people.

• Feelings are hard to communicate through writing.

• Everything you write can be used against you.

• Be sensible when you evaluate the contents of information you receive.

• read you emails to remove misspellings and unclear sentences.

Smileys or emoticons

Smileys and emoticons are used in written forms of communication to represent emotions and/or facial expressions of the author which are often lost in the process due to a lack of human emotion being easily conveyed through text.

🙂 = emoticon                                          = smiley

Key messages

Summarize the intent of a particular piece of writing in one sentence and you have the beginning of your key message. In effect you’re asking yourself: “What is the one thing I want my readers to know, to consider, to think about?” The key message is what it is you’re trying to deliver to your audience.

Grammar and spelling

It is important that you use correct grammar and spelling in your written communication as by using either incorrectly it makes people question the validity of what you’re saying ad doesn’t make you seem smart like you want to appear.


Depending on what you’re writing the structure will vary. Let’s say you’re writing a report.

Reports are always presented in sections and subsections since they contain a lot of information which needs to be organised in a way that makes sense to the reader.

Sections are often numbered and long reports should include a title page and then a table of contents which lists the section headings and subheadings, preferably with page numbers.

Writing something else would require a different structure to be received effectively.

Identifying relevance

It is important in written communication that you express clearly relevant information to the topic you’re discussing. It should be easy to find amongst all you have written so the reader can access the main relevant parts.


When proofreading a document, you should first read it slowly and carefully to determine whether or not it communicates the message. If the title or the introductory paragraph do not clearly signal the intent of the paper or if the paragraphs which follow do not relate to the introduction then you haven’t wrote effectively.


The idea with capitalisation is to make your sentences clear. At the beginning of each sentence the first letter should be capitalised. This will set out your work clearly and it will look more professional, if that’s the look you are going for.

Another use for capitalisation is for emphasis, you could capitalise the words or letters within a piece of written work and this would emphasise your opinion.

Alternative viewpoints

If you have alternate viewpoints in an argument, the audience will be able to come to a conclusion on their own based on the information that they have been given.
It is important to have alternative viewpoints in a speech so that you are able to give the audience a good idea to what it is that you are saying and also so that they have both sides of the argument. If you do not do this, the argument is biased and the audience will not be able to come to a reasonable conclusion because they may not have all of the information that may be required, only the side you are biased towards.

Note taking

You should take notes so that you do not forget the information that you have heard. Information that you can get from notes can be very useful and can be short, yet informative. Writing notes is important because if you do not, you may forget parts of what you have heard. If you forget the important parts of a speech, you may not fully understand the topic.

Link  —  Posted: May 9, 2016 in Achieving your Goals, How to improve your reading skills, Learning styles, Memory, Overcoming procastination, Students, Success, Uncategorized, Written communication skills

Why would you want to stop being lazy? Laziness has lots going for it! Indolence allows you to take life easy and to put off things which seem like a lot of effort. It can be fun to lie around, spend your time watching TV, surfing through cyberspace, playing games and otherwise filling your day with ‘chewing gum for the brain’. Isn’t there far too much pressure to ‘get on with things’, anyway?

Can you stop being lazy?

And it’s when you see  those   projects languishing, when you find yourself feeling lethargic and drained when you haven’t even   done   anything, that you begin to feel disappointed and frustrated about the grip laziness has on you, and how it draws you away from what you know, in your heart of hearts, you really want to do. And that’s when you begin to wonder how to stop being lazy. And if you can.

The way out of the trap of laziness

To escape, you need two things. You need to understand what your ‘laziness’ really is and stop telling yourself it’s something else. And you need a powerful method of reprogramming your brain to develop a model for ‘what to do right now’ which allows you to do what you  really   want to do –   and   to rest and take it easy appropriately along the way.

The truth is that laziness is a cheat. It’s a siren that promises you gratifications and rewards which it ultimately fails to deliver. Doing nothing looks very appealing, but in the end leaves you depressed and hollow. But overcoming laziness is not about condemning yourself to endless ‘busyness’ either. It’s about seeing through the false enticement and learning how to build a powerful inner commitment to yourself.

So why  do   we leave things so late? Is there something lacking in our motivation? This is the commonest explanation people give, and you’ve probably thought it explains your own difficulty with getting your project done in a timely fashion. ‘I just don’t feel like it!’ But if you think about it for a moment, you will see that there are   things that you ‘feel like’ doing, so it can’t be true that you just ‘lack motivation’.

The key to doing it now lies not in motivation as such (though motivation is certainly useful), but in  prioritisation . You do something when   it feels important to get it done . This is quite different from knowing in your head that it is important (like your tax return). It’s an   emotional   feeling. It’s our emotions which drive us into action – ‘e-motion’.

The role of emotions in getting things done

The reasons why we  feel   that certain things are important vary hugely from person to person. You will have been heavily influenced by your life experience, your upbringing, your personal character and other factors in the selection of   what feels important , but you would be a most unusual person if you were consciously aware of how you had arrived at this selection. Such emotional paradigms are unconsciously constructed .

Unconscious emotional programming can be reprogrammed

However, even though you may not consciously know why you have been putting off getting on with your project when you can so easily do other things, these patterns are not immutable. Which is good news. It means that you can begin to take a  conscious   interest in what’s ‘important’ to you, and   use   your emotions to take your life in the direction you want it to go. Like getting that project finished Now!!

Link  —  Posted: May 2, 2016 in Achieving your Goals, Exams, How to improve your reading skills, Importance of Good Memory, Laziness, Learning styles, Memory, Motivation, Overcoming procastination, Stress Management, Students, Success, Training needs analysis, Uncategorized

Procrastination is a complicated behavior that affects all people to some degree. Some experience only small problems with procrastination while with others, it is a major source of anxiety and stress.

Lack of motivation and procrastination is related to time management. Procrastinators often fail to complete tasks even though they know what the task is and the time they have to do it.

Why do people procrastinate? Often a difficult task is avoided in favor of the less difficult. Tasks that take longer amounts of time are less desirable than those that can be completed quickly.

People sometimes procrastinate due to fear of failure. No one wants to be embarrassed by a lack of knowledge or skills when beginning a new task.

Overcoming the fear of failure and developing good work habits will do wonders for those who tend to procrastinate.

The first step in overcoming procrastination is to recognize what psychological issues cause you to procrastinate in the first place. Self-defeating issues such as anxiety, fear, poor time management skills, indecisiveness, difficulty concentrating, and perfectionism can be major contributors to a lack of motivation. It’s important to clarify your goals and then work to achieve them.

If you do not know how to manage your time efficiently, there are classes and literature available to help you learn. In order to change, you first have to accept and forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Do not expect to change overnight, expect to backslide on occasion and forgive yourself when this happens. Give yourself adequate credit for tasks you do accomplish in a timely manner.

If you have a friend or coworker who seems to be highly organized and efficient, ask for suggestions as to how you can do the same. Reward yourself for small steps taken towards your goals and be realistic in your expectations.

As with any type of behavioral change, overcoming procrastination will not happen instantly. Change your work or study habits to minimize distractions and promote wise management of your time.

Be disciplined in your approach by setting a realistic goal and sticking to it. Setting priorities is critical in learning to manage your time in the most efficient manner. Do not dwell on setbacks or mistakes. Focus instead on success and soon enough you will stop dwelling on failure and instead come to expect the best from yourself.

Motivation is the key to achieving success at work and at home. Motivation comes from within. Coming to grips with personal issues is the first step in realizing why you procrastinate and then taking steps to change.

If you focus on self-discipline and proper time management, you will be able to change those habits that led you to be a procrastinator in the first place.

You can get motivated and stay motivated by implementing a few changes and observing a few personal rules. Observing and copying those who seem to always be a step ahead is also an excellent tool in overcoming procrastination.

Realizing that procrastination is a self-imposed condition is an important step in changing those bad habits into a lifelong formula for success. Make your plan, follow it carefully, and forgive yourself for imperfections. You will soon transform yourself from a chronic procrastinator into a highly motivated, disciplined individual.

Link  —  Posted: April 29, 2016 in Achieving your Goals, Exams, How to improve your reading skills, Importance of Good Memory, Learning styles, Memory, Motivation, Overcoming procastination, Stress Management, Students, Success, Training needs analysis, Uncategorized

A good memory is truly important for anyone to possess. Your memory of faces, names, facts, information, dates, events, circumstances and other things concerning your everyday life is the measure of your ability to prevail in today’s fast-paced, information-dependent society. With a good memory, you don’t have to fear forgetting/misplacing important stuffs and you can overcome mental barriers that hinder you from achieving success in your career, love life, and personal life.

Your memory is composed of complicated neural connections in your brain which are believed to be capable of holding millions of data. The ability of your mind to retain past experiences in a highly organized manner gives you the potential to learn and create different ideas.

Your experiences are the stepping stones to greater accomplishments and at the same time your guides and protectors from danger. If your memory serves you well in this respect, you are saved the agony of repeating the mistakes of the past. By remembering crucial lessons and circumstances, you avoid the mistakes and failures made by other people.

Unless you have an illness or handicap, a poor memory is often attributed to lack of attention or concentration, insufficient listening skills, and other inherent bad habits; however, it can be honed and developed using the right methods.

Many people believe that their memory gets worse as they get older. This is true only for those who do not use their memory properly. Memory is like a muscle – the more it is used, the better it gets. The more it is neglected, the worse it gets. This is the reason why older people have more trouble remembering than younger ones.

However, people increasing in age can overcome this dilemma and can even further improve their memory by continuing their education, by refining their minds, by keeping themselves open to new experiences, and by keeping their imagination working. An important thing to realize is that different people have various ways of learning. The way in which people learn is often a factor determining the subjects they choose to study, instructors they relate to, and careers they select.

Memorization or retention of data operates by loading images, sounds; taste, smell, and sensation (touch) in a very organized and meaningful combination in our brain. In order for you to further develop your memory capacity in various tasks, it would be helpful if you consider points and ideas in improving your memory. This would make your retention practices more efficient and sharper.

1. You don’t have to be a great reader to get the point.

Some people read fast and remember everything. Others read slowly and take a couple of times to get all the information. It doesn’t matter, really, so long as when YOU read, you get the information you’re seeking.

2. Know why you’re reading.

Are you reading for entertainment or to learn something? Decide *why* you’re reading before you start and you’ll greatly improve your comprehension and your enjoyment.

3. You don’t need to read everything.

Not every magazine, letter, and email you receive contains information you need. In fact, most of it is simply junk. Throw it away, hit the delete key! Just by doing this will double the amount of time you have available to read.

4. You don’t need to read all of what you do read.

Do you read every article of every magazine, every chapter of every book? If so, you’re probably reading stuff you don’t need. Be choosy; select the chapters and articles that are important. Ignore the rest.

5. Scan before you read.

Look at the table of contents, index, topic headers, photo captions, etc. These will help you determine if, a) you have a real interest in this reading, and b) what information you’re likely to get from it.

6. Prioritise your reading.

You can’t read everything all at once (and wouldn’t want to). If it’s important, read it now. If it isn’t, let it wait.

7. Optimise your reading environment.

You’ll read faster and comprehend more if you read in an environment that’s comfortable for you.

8. Once you start don’t stop.

Read each item straight through. If you finish and have questions, go back and re-read those sections. If you don’t have questions, then you got what you needed and can move on.

9. Focus.

Remember, you’re reading with a purpose, so focus on that purpose and the material. If you lose interest or keep losing your place, take a break or read something else. You can keep track of where you are by following along with your hand. This simple technique helps you focus and increase your concentration.

10. Practice!

Practice makes perfect!

Students learn in a variety of ways: by seeing and hearing, working alone and in groups, reasoning logically and intuitively, memorising and visualising and modelling.

Teaching methods also vary: some instructors lecture, others demonstrate or discuss; some focus on principles and others on applications; some emphasise memory and others understanding.

 How much students learn in a class depends among other things on the match between their learning style preferences and the instructor’s teaching style. This interactive presentation defines different learning styles, explores the consequences of mismatches between learning and teaching styles, and offers ideas for reaching students with a wider variety of learning styles than are reached with traditional teaching methods.

Students have different levels of motivation, different attitudes about teaching and learning, and different responses to specific classroom environments and instructional practices. The more thoroughly instructors understand the differences, the better chance they have of meeting the diverse learning needs of all of their students.

Three categories of diversity that have been shown to have important implications for teaching and learning are differences in students’ learning styles (characteristic ways of taking in and processing information), approaches to learning (surface, deep, and strategic), and intellectual development levels (attitudes about the nature of knowledge and how it should be acquired and evaluated)

 Learning styles are “characteristic cognitive, affective, and psychological behaviours that serve as relatively stable indicators of how learners perceive, interact with, and respond to the learning environment. The concept of learning styles has been applied to a wide variety of student attributes and differences.

Some students are comfortable with theories and abstractions; others feel much more at home with facts and observable phenomena; some prefer active learning and others lean toward introspection; some prefer a visual presentation of information and others prefer verbal explanations.

One learning style is neither preferable nor inferior to another, but is simply different, with different characteristic strengths and weaknesses. A goal of instruction should be to equip students with the skills associated with every learning style category, regardless of the students’ personal preferences, since they will need all of those skills to function effectively as professionals.